I was calm, I was chill
Leaning on the pinball machine
The guy walked into the bar
Ordered a ham and butter sandwich
Then, he approached me
Then he looked at me like that

You have boots, my friend
They appeal to me
I bet they're cowboy boots
Come take a walk in the vacant lot

I'm going to teach you a fun game
With big hits from a bicycle chain
I'll beat you up for your boots
I tell him "leave it alone"

He gave me a punch
I gave him a smack
He gave me a chestnut (slang for punch)
I gave him my shoes

I was calm, I was chill
Leaning on the counter
The guy walked into the bar
Ordered a black coffee
Then he tapped me on the shoulder
And looked at me in a funny way

You have a jacket, dude
It's not fake
I'm freezing on my scooter
With that, I'd be a real rocker
Come take a walk in the alley
I'll show you my pocket knife
I'll steal your jacket
I tell him "leave it alone"

He gave me a punch
I gave him a chestnut (slang for punch)
He gave me a chestnut (slang for punch)
I gave him my jacket

I was calm, I was chill
I was fixing my moped
The guy appeared on the boulevard
On his big, super cool motorcycle
Stopped along the sidewalk
And looked at me in a stupid way

You have the same blue jeans as James Dean
Stop showing off
I bet it's a real Levi Strauss
It's not scary at all
Come take a walk behind the church
So I can rob you
With big hits from a belt
I tell him "leave it alone"

He gave me a punch
I gave him a slap
He gave me a chestnut (slang for punch)
I gave him my pants

The moral of this sad story
Is when you're calm and chill
Don't hang out in bars too much
Unless you're dressed in a suit

When at the end of a song
You find yourself naked, without your boots
You need to have some imagination
To find a funny punchline

VIEW ORIGINAL LYRICS