There was an old monk of great renown,
There was an old monk of great renown,
There was an old monk of great renown,
Who fucked all the women around the town.

Chorus :
(spoken) The old sod, the dirty old sod,
The bastard deserves to die.
(sung) Glory glory hallelujah,
(spoken) Let us pray.
A prayer for the constipated......SHIT
A prayer for the frustrated.........FUCK
A prayer for the menstruated....BLOODY HELL

He took a maid to the Abbot's bed, (3x)
And fucked and fucked her till she was dead.
Chorus

His brother monks cried out in shame, (3x)
So her fucked her and fucked her to life again.
Chorus

He met another by the mill, (3x)
And shagged her and shagged her up the hill.
Chorus

He met another in the hay, (3x)
And put her in the family way.
Chorus

His brother monks to stop his frolics, (3x)
Put a nail through his arse and cut off his bollocks.
Chorus

And now he's dead and in his box, (3x)
The dirty old bastard has got the pox.
Chorus

And now the moral I will tell,
And now the moral I will tell,
When all the world just feels like hell,
Just shag and shag till all is well.