The Lady of the Manor was dressing for the ball,
When she espied a tinker pissing up against the wall.

Chorus :
With his bloody great kidney-wiper,
And his balls the size of three,
And a yard of dirty foreskin, hanging down below his knee.
Hanging down, swinging free, hanging down, we're all thick,
And a yard of dirty foreskin hanging down below his knee.

The lady wrote a letter, and in it she did say,
I'd rather be fucked by a tinker than his Lordship any day.
Chorus

The tinker got the letter, and when it he did read,
His balls began to fester, and his prick began to bleed.
Chorus

He mounted on his charger, and to her place did ride,
With his balls slung o'er his shoulder,
And his prick strapped to his side.
Chorus

He fucked them in the parlour, he fucked them in the hall,
The butler cried, "Gawd save us, he's come to fuck us all."
Chorus

He fucked the groom in the parlour, and the Duchess in her pew,
But then he fucked the butler and the butler's pet mole too.
Chorus

He rode off from the manor, he rode into the street,
Little drops of semen, pitter pattering at his feet.
Chorus

Some say the tinker's gone now, gone fucking down to hell,
All set to fuck the devil, and I bet he fucks him well.
Chorus