The Mayor of Bayswater has got a pretty daughter,

Chorus:
And the hairs on her dicky-di-dow
Hang down to her knees,
One black one, one white one,
And one with a little shite on,
And the hairs on her dicky-di-dow
Hang down to her knees.

I've smelt it, I've felt it, its just like a bit of velvet,
Chorus

I've seen it, I've seen it, I've been right between it,
Chorus

She slept with a demon, who washed her with semen,
Chorus

She married an Italian with balls like a fucking stallion,
Chorus

It would need a Coal-miner to find her vagina,
Chorus

If she were my daughter, I'd have them cut shorter,

And the hairs, on her dicky-di-dow,
The hairs, on her dicky-di-dow,
The hairs, on her dicky-di-dow,
Hang down to her knees,
Hang down, hang down, hang down, hang down,
And the hairs on her dicky-di-dow,
Hang down to her knees.