Chorus ;
Ring the bell Verger, ring the bell ring,
Perhaps the congregation
Will condescend to sing,
Perhaps the village organist, sitting on his stool,
Will play upon the organ and not upon his tool.

Down in the garage chauffeur lies,
Masters wife between his thighs,
Masters voice comes from afar,
Stop fucking wife and start fucking car.
Chorus

Verger in the belfry stood,
In his hands his great big pud,
From afar the vicar yells,
Stop pulling pud and start pulling bells.
Chorus

Down in the kitchen, butler and cook,
Very quietly having fuck,
Mistress voice comes with a squeal,
Stop fucking cook and cook fucking meals.
Chorus

Ocean liner, nine days late,
Stoker stoking Stoker's mate,
Captains voice comes down the wire,
Stop stoking mate and start stoking fire.
Chorus