Caviar comes from the virgin sturgeon,
The virgin sturgeon's a very fine fish,
The virgin sturgeon needs no 'urgin,
That's why caviar is my dish.

I gave caviar to my girl friend,
She was a virgin tried and true,
Ever since she had that caviar,
There 'aint nothing she won't do,

I gave caviar to my grandpa,
Grandpa's age is ninety three,
The very next time I saw my grandpa,
He'd chased grandma up a tree.

My father was a lighthouse keeper,
He had caviar for his tea,
He had three children by a mermaid,
Two were kippers, one was me.

I gave caviar to my bow-wow, all the others looked agog,
He had what those bitches wanted,
Wasn't he a lucky dog.

The female clam is optimistic, shoots her eggs out in the sea,
She hopes her suitor as a shooter,
Hits the selfsame spot as she.

Oysters are prolific bi-valves,
Rear their young ones in their shell,
How they piddle is a riddle, but they do so what the hell.