Unos, dos, tres Suzy Quatro

Every year when summer is here
I save up m' money and fly
To the land of the sun, fornication and fun
And never let a dago by

Buenos knockers por favor
As I sniff up the breezes
There's a whiff in the air
Of ambre solaire
And Julio Inglesias
All day beneath the parasols, I prat around on the beach
All night I'm pissed as ars'oles and incapable of speech

But I'm going back to Majorca
Back to the prettiest girl that I've seen
I nearly went crackers
When she held my maracas
And I burst her tambourine
She was topless, I was legless, we boogied the moonlight away
Oh she swallowed my pina colada
Oh blimey, O' Reilly, olé
I said she swallowed his pina colada
Oh blimey, O' Reilly, olé

Olé, olé, olé, olé,
Olé, oh lay me down quick
Iy iy, iy iy, iy iy, iy iy
I think I'm gonna be sick

"Ooh that's better out than in"

I don't go swimmin' I just look at the women
As I stroll down by the ocean
They don't wear vests upon their chests
They just wear sun-tan lotion

Buenos knockers por favor
Una paloma blanca
I go to Spain, get out of my brain
And act like a wanker
I wear reflective sunglasses to secretly stare at the tits
But I never drink the water, in case I get the shits

I'm going back to Majorca
To get up to m' scrotum in sin
There's lots of how's-yer-father down on the Costa Brava
And they blame it on jet-lag and gin
She was topless, I was legless, we boogied the moonlight away
Oh she swallowed my pina colada
Oh blimey, O' Reilly, olé
I said she swallowed his pina colada
Oh blimey, O' Reilly, olé

But when I get back to Worksop
And the sand runs out of my socks
I'll dream of that sweet senorita
Who gave me a dose of... la dolce vita
And a vimto on the rocks