With my dearest darling I decided to spend
Bird watching in Suffolk, a romantic weekend
We saw hawks and harriers all round Minsmere way
And the larks they sang melodious at the closing of the day

In a quiet country pub as I plied her with gin
The back door burst open and some folksingers come in
With banjos and fiddles and a Yoo-ka-lay-lay
And the bastards played melodeons at the closing of the day

The fiddles went diddle, the banjos went plink!
And one big squeeze-boxer gave my wife a wink
And she smiled right back at him, just as much as to say
Won't you show me your melodeon at the closing of the day

He led her to the car park, that big hairy man
And to teach her his technique he promptly began
He showed her where to push-and-tug, to finger and play
And she squeezed his old melodeon at the closing of the day

I sat there disconsolate, when a sailor next to me
He blew me a kiss and put his hand on my knee
SaidThere's plenty more fish in the sea nowadays
Oh the larks we'd have, the both of us, if you swung both ways

We went back six times and coincident-lee
We now have six children and there's none look like me
They're hairy, they're hairy and suffice to say
The bastards play melodeons at the closing of the day

She left me for the hairy man, but I don't grieve or gripe
I decided that the sailor-boy was much more my type
We've a bachelor residence down Aldeburgh way
And we play on our melodeons at the closing of the day