I dreamed my snowman came to life and walking in the air
He led me to a magic land of toys, I know not where
Ho ho ""What do you want for Christmas?"" said old Santa, bold and stout
I pointed at his fairies and I began to shout...

Give us a wank for Christmas
I've been good all year and that's a fact
Give us a wank for Christmas
Then you'll see what Santa Claus has brung you in his sack

Give us a wank for Christmas
Stir my pud' and wipe it on your sleeve
Give us a wank and by way of saying thanks
I'll rub your tits until it's New Years eve

Give us a wank for Christmas
Tug that bell rope, hear that old ding-dong
Give us a wank for Christmas
I've not sworn, nor drunk, nor told a lie the whole year long

Give us a wank for Christmas
It only comes but once a year they say
Manipulate my member for the last week in December
And I'll rub your tits until it's New Years day

Santa's coming, Santa's coming
Coming as he's riding on his sleigh
Gazing, it's quite plaid dear
At the rear ends of his reindeer
I guess he's funny that way

So... Give us a wank for Christmas
Shake my spruce until the needles drop
Give us a wank for Christmas
Now's the time to strangle the last turkey in the shop

Give us a wank for Christmas
Shake the big balls on my Christmas tree
Pull my cracker, ho-ho-ho
Stuff your drawers with mistletoe
And I'll rub your tits until it's January

Oh come on... please... just for Christmas
Just this once... it won't take very long... it never does