Now come on my children and gather around
I'll sing about the fruit makes world go 'round
And in the garden of Eden, Eve started the fall
But the fruit that she liked weren't an apple at all

It was Adam's cucumber (sing the song)
'Ee a great cucumber (two feet long)
An enormous cucumber (big and strong)
Great big cucumber (like an elephant's dong)

In a cucumber frame one cucumber grows
And it stretches from m' knees up to my nose
It'll fill up your belly make you feel alright
You can gobble the fruit each and every night
Delicious cucumber (big and strong)
'Ee a monstrous cucumber (two feet long)
Nice firm cucumber (big and strong)
Enormous cucumber (like an elephant's dong)

Now down by the Humber
The wife of a plumber
She did the rhumba
On my cucumber
She went and got her neighbours
And a sister or two
And the district nurse and they all said
Ooh look at that cucumber (big and strong)
'Ee a monstrous cucumber (two feet long)
Great big cucumber (big and strong)
Enormous cucumber (like an elephant's dong)

My fruity friend satisfied them so
So I got m' cap and jacket getting ready to go
I said "Did you like my big cucumber?"
They all said "make your cucumber do one more number"
Big cucumber (big and strong)
Great big cucumber (two feet long)
Enormous cucumber (big and strong)
Great big cucumber (like an elephant's dong)