I had a fainting spell one Sunday morning
When I least expected it
I fell flat, like a soursop, over the drain
Maybe it's the pressure or my bilirubin has gone up

And I got a fever
And I started turning white like a mothball
They took me to a people's hospital, supposedly
In the emergency room, the receptionist was listening to the lottery
(Thirty thousand pesos)

"Someone have mercy on me"
I shouted losing consciousness
And a nurse came up to my ear and said
"Calm down, Bobby, calm down"

She caressed me with her Bengay hands and said
"What's wrong, athlete?"
And I told her in great detail what had happened to me

"We need to check your blood pressure
But the room is occupied, and my dear
In this hospital, there's no power for an electrocardiogram"

I opened my eyes like a full moon and grabbed my head, jah
Because it's very hard to cross
The Niagara on a bicycle

Don't tell me the doctors have left (woh-oh-oh)
Don't tell me they don't have anesthesia (woh-oh-oh)
Don't tell me they drank the alcohol (woh-oh-oh)
And that the sewing thread
Was embroidered on a tablecloth, no

Don't tell me the tweezers are lost (woh-oh-oh)
That the stethoscope is partying (woh-oh-oh)
That the X-rays have burned out (woh-oh-oh)
And that the IV fluid was already used
To sweeten the coffee, yeh-yeh-yeh-yeh-yeh-yeh-yeh

Auh, shicaun

I leaned on her shoulders like a lame man on his crutch
And I said, "What do I do, princess?"
And on a prescription paper (my princess, what will become of me?)
She wrote very sweetly
"I'm sorry, athlete" (my princess, what will become of me?, Uh)

She caressed me with her Bengay hands and went on her way
And I clearly heard when she said to another patient (my princess, what will become of me?, Uh)
"Calm down, Bobby, calm down"

I lowered my eyes halfway and grabbed my head
(My princess, what will become of me?, Uh)
Because it's very hard to cross
The Niagara on a bicycle

Don't tell me the doctors have left (woh-oh-oh)
Don't tell me they don't have anesthesia (woh-oh-oh)
Don't tell me they drank the alcohol (woh-oh-oh)
And that the sewing thread
Was embroidered on a tablecloth, no

Don't tell me the tweezers are lost (woh-oh-oh)
That the stethoscope is partying (woh-oh-oh)
That the X-rays have burned out (woh-oh-oh)
And that the IV fluid was already used
To sweeten the coffee, yeh-yeh-yeh-yeh-yeh-yeh-yeh

Uh-uh, eh-eh, eh

Oh, no

Don't tell me I'm falling
From so much pain (don't tell me someone is falling)
Don't tell me the aspirins
Change color (don't tell me the aspirins)

Don't tell me I'm being born
That it lacks love (don't tell me someone is being born)
Don't tell me it's beating, woh no (oh, no)

Don't tell me I'm falling
From so much pain (don't tell me someone is being born)
Don't tell me the aspirins
Change color (don't tell me the aspirins)

Don't tell me I'm being born
That it lacks love (don't tell me someone is falling)
Don't tell me it's beating, woh no

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