When I exercise I lose half a day
Swim an hour then hit the hay

My 5 o'clock shadow hits at 7 o'clock
Now my body's slowing
Down don't ask me how

My happy meal consists of prunes
Cashews celery carrots
Water gas-x and lagoons

Can no longer wear black
My hair fallout is too obvious

That's why old men
Wear Hawaiian shirts
It doesn't take a genius

TV weather man said
"Summer heat can cause strokes to all"
So I sit on the couch just waiting for fall

I'm afraid to nap in my chair
Someone might think I'm dead

They already think
I am old clinging
To life by a thread

You know you're getting old
When you have more candles than cake
I cut my food in tiny pieces
When I eat steak

I can't drive at night anymore
My cataracts cause a glare
I have a special lift device
To get me out of this chair

These are just some traits
That old age will bring
I had one more stanza
But can't remember a thing