Verse 1
(to astronauts) We are Zorkonians,
And we’re the master race!
Our very name is feared
All through outer space!
And any universal voyager who dares
To land his rocket-ship on Zork
Had better say his prayers!


(aside) But here’s the truth which might
Come as a big surprise…..
We’re not fierce, we hate to fight,
We’re really rather nice!

Verse 2
(to astronauts) We are Zorkonians,
A terrifying crew!
The very sight of us
Will scare the pants off you!
And any traveller unlucky to arrive
Without a written invitation,
Won’t get out alive!


(aside) But here’s the bottom line,
Zorkonians live in peace!
We work hard, we love our mums,
We’re really soft as grease!


(to astronauts) So if you mess with us there’ll be a price to pay!
That’s how we’re thought of and
We’d like it kept that way!