I sat with me mates at the tavern one night
For drinks and old stories, and maybe a fight
And after a couple of rounds of the sauce
I heard an announcement - left me at a loss

Doogie O’Mara and Connor MacGill
And Liam McGinty and my cousin Bill
All stood at the table and raised up a toast
And the words that they spoke left me white as a ghost

They shouted for silence and all gave an ear,
And Doogie said, “Me and me friends sittin’ here
Are off to see places that we’ve never seen.
Aye, the lot of us signed on the Merchant Marine!”

My heart skipped a beat and I swallowed real hard
I felt like I just had been dealt the wrong card
With everyone staring, I nervously sat
And then I tried my best to shrink into my hat.

Later that night I took Doogie aside,
And “Now,” I said, “friend, I don’t mean to say that you lied,
But what’s all this load about taking to sea?
And espec’lly, who said that you could include me?”

I have no intention of sailing away!
Or letting your wanderlust lead me astray!
Your impulsive bravado is all right for you,
But with such a scheme, I’ll have nothing to do!

While you venture out to explore the unknown,
I will be happy here, warm and dry right at home.
While you plough the wave of the great salty sea
I’ll plough the garden – my donkey and me.
If you must, God be with you,
Where e -ver you roam,
And I wish you good luck,
But I think I’ll stay home.
I’ll stay home.

In search of one’s fortune, men oft go abroad
And for all of their bravery, I humbly applaud
So go with your gang to the sea if you will,
I won’t even argue about cousin Bill.

But danger awaits even we humble souls,
Even in our small towns, with our safe, simple goals
And I’d rather not tempt fate, nor let fate tempt me.
So don’t count this boy in your flight to the sea!

I’ll sure see you off as you all climb aboard,
And I’ll watch for your letters and listen for word
Of the places you’ll go and the wonders you’ll see,
But I’m lettin’ you know, it’ll be without me!

While you venture out to explore the unknown,
I will be happy here, warm and dry right at home.
While you plough the wave of the great salty sea
I’ll plough the garden – my donkey and me.
If you must, God be with you,
Where e -ver you roam,
And I wish you good luck,
But I think I’ll stay home.
I’ll stay home.

Oh, I understand The adventure so grand
Applyin’ your hand… to a rudder
But I’d rather stand On this side of the strand
And remain on the land… and take care of me dear ol’ mudder.

While you venture out to explore the unknown,
I will be happy here, warm and dry right at home.
While you plough the wave of the great salty sea
I’ll plough the garden – my donkey and me.
If you must, God be with you,
Where e -ver you roam,
And I wish you good luck,
But I think I’ll stay home.
I’ll stay home.