Pull over, motherfucker!
I’m beyond irate!
You’ve been driving 25,
And now I’m fuckin' late!

I punched my roof,
Turned my fists black and blue.
I bit my steering wheel,
Till I broke a fuckin’ tooth.

I just wanted to see
What this asshole looks like.
He looks like an asshole,
So I was fuckin' right!

Oh, you’re
Cruisin’ for a contusion!
Cruisin’ for a contusion!
Cruisin’ for a contusion!
Cruisin’ for a contusion!

I've been staring at the pile
Of disgusting Beanie Babies in your back window,
Fantasizing 'bout tearin' them Beanie bitches to shreds.
...You're fuckin' dead!

I walk up to your car,
Chewing broken glass.
I see your bitch is embarrassed;
I tell her to relax…

I just wanted to see
What this asshole looks like.
He looks like an asshole,
So I was fuckin' right!

Oh, you’re
Cruisin’ for a contusion!
Cruisin’ for a contusion!
Cruisin’ for a contusion!
Cruisin’ for a contusion!

Abracadabra! You wanna see a trick?
Your bitch is in my car, suckin’ the mayor’s dick!