When we were writing this album
Our manager called and said we need a hit

He said “Your music’s not current enough for the kids, so write a death metal song”
We said “Heck yeah, you got it!”
So I got out my beach ball
And my Hawaiian shirt with little coconuts on the sleeves

And wrote this brutal jam while the tall palm trees
Began to sway gently in the island breeze

Death Metal, the metal of death
Better drink that margarita before your last breath
A taste of Satan from our rock armada
An umbrella of evil in your piña colada

Death Metal! Put on your leis
Surfin’ waves as your rotting mortal soul decays
Lay back in the sand and drift slowly away
And renounce your god’s existence at the seafood buffet

Our manager called us back and said
“Hey guys, it’s your manager Brent. This definitely isn’t death metal, it sounds more like Jimmy Buffet.”

We laughed at the way he’s always joking around
And then we tuned our ukuleles to get that dark sound

We were in the metal festival that night
To play with some bands, it was such a great list
Like Demigod Slut and Chasm of Filth
And Maggot Desecration and Graves of Piss

STEEL DRUM SOLO!
DEFILE ME WITH THAT SAX!
Whoa, easy on those coconut shrimp, Jerry

Death metal, the metal of death
Tanning lotion on corpse paint needs a high SPF
Playing frisbee all day, you’ll be running like a cheetah
And sacrificing goats with a sweet señorita

Death metal, choke on our scum
Thanks for joining us today for all our tropical fun
I have to say this vile concert went well
Now suck this music tribute to our dark lord in hell

What the heck was that?