I wish I could think think straight
But I’m always worried ‘bout he say, she say, these days
I feel i’m running out of time and I don’t wanna be late
I don’t wanna be late, I don’t wanna delay
Saying I got time but I need to be patient
I been here near a decade and I’m still up on the waitlist
I’m so fucking tired of this you just gotta wait shit
Can’t be what you want before it’s your time
But that shit has me going out of my mind
The longer it takes the more doubt in my mind
The more doubt it my mind means more mountains To climb
But I don’t know if I have got the energy left in me
To keep going after all the ways life been testing me
It’s like i’m getting punched in guts, then chin checked
Getting my shit wrecked, and asking this bitch what shit’s next

I think that i’m ‘bout to spiral
Go back in time meet my rival
Darkness await my arrival
And welcome me back like revival
I think that i’m ‘bout to spiral
Get sucked right back in the cycle
The one that made me suicidal
Oh I think I’m ‘bout to spiral

I’m sick of fucking feeling like I’m failing at life
Because each dream I try to grab is like the blade of a knife
But if I grab it by the handle then I can’t get a slice
And what the fucks a dream if you wouldn’t bleed for it right?
I’m just ill of feeling like I’m bleeding for nothing
thought I’d see something, really thought by now I’d be buzzing
And I’d be getting seen up on the street and being greeted by dozens
But how you make it work out when it seemingly doesn’t
Can’t be what you want before it’s your time
And i’m trying to stay up and hold down the line
But I’m bent over backwards and breaking my spine
For some shit that I don’t think I’ll ever make mine
Gave it all I got and still can’t seem to get to it
It’s like fucking a mirage and I am looking right through it
It’s like Art you can’t touch but it’s open for viewing
But I’ve already come this far so what the fuck am I doing

I think that i’m ‘bout to spiral
Go back in time meet my rival
Darkness await my arrival
And welcome me back like revival
I think that i’m ‘bout to spiral
Get sucked right back in the cycle
The one that made me suicidal
Oh I think I’m ‘bout to spiral

I know it probably seems like I just sit here complaining
Like maybe if I write enough then shit’ll start changing
And all the doubts up in my mind’ll finally start fading
And I can go back to the life where I was feeling amazing
But that just ain’t the case, nor the way that I roll
I face the problems head on that be taking a toll
Making my brain jaded, ache, and break is the goal
And I fight ‘em with the writing of a page from my soul
I’ve been in the grip of doubt, but I’m twisting, shifting, slipping and getting out
Running for my life not turning back around
But if I run into a struggle I’m not backing down
I’ve fallen before I’m not fucking falling again
If I fucking lose I’ll put my all in again
If I run into a problem bet I’m solving it then
Because I don’t wanna spiral and lose all control of my head

I think that i’m ‘bout to spiral
Go back in time meet my rival
Darkness await my arrival
And welcome me back like revival
I think that i’m ‘bout to spiral
Get sucked right back in the cycle
The one that made me suicidal
Oh I think I’m ‘bout to spiral