You drink margaritas on Cinco de Mayo
Have hurricanes on Mardi Gras and on the bayou
St. Patrick's Day it's a glass of green beer
God bless poor Santa and his holiday cheer

Cookies and milk
Cookies and milk
It's safe for children, reindeer and elves
Gotta stay sober driving that sleigh
Hey cookies and milk on Christmas Day

They even drink wine at some churches communion
Some folks get hammered at family reunions
Cheers to the New Year pop open champagne
Do we drive Santa insane

Cookies and milk
Cookies and milk
It's safe for children, reindeer and elves
Gotta stay sober driving that sleigh
Hey cookies and milk on Christmas Day

We couldn't stop grandma
From spiking her eggnog
Somebody put her to bed
She's lit like the Christmas tree
cll you kids go to sleep
We got something better instead
Yea instead

We got cookies and milk
Cookies and milk
It's safe for children, reindeer and elves
Gotta stay sober driving that sleigh
Hey cookies and milk on Christmas Day
Cookies and milk on Christmas Day
Ho ho
What's in this milk anyhow?