The boys, it is said
Have funny ways
In the locker rooms

They drink alcohol from the bottle
Make animal noises
Spray themselves with cheap perfume
Open their beers with their feet

Ah, the boys in the locker rooms ah
Ah, the boys in the locker rooms

The boys, it is said
Have peculiar manners
In the locker rooms

They would wear on their hips
Towels that when they bend over
Let glimpse in the steam
The promising object of the crime

Ah, the boys in the locker rooms ah
Ah, the boys in the locker rooms ah

Ah, if I were a boy
I would know what they do
In the locker rooms ah
Ah if I were Paul or Leon
Or even a soap dish
A draft

The boys, it is said
Sometimes have a light mood
In the locker rooms

They would hide under their Adidas
Magazines full of creatures
Posing naked on ice picks
Indulging in lust

Ah, the boys in the locker rooms ah
Ah, the boys in the locker rooms

The boys, they make themselves
Solitary pleasures
In the locker rooms

They close their eyes under the shower
And dream that languid girls
Come in groups and with full mouth
Devour their anatomy

Ah, the boys in the locker rooms ah
Ah, the boys in the locker rooms ah

Ah, if I were a boy
I would know what they do
In the locker rooms ah
Ah if I were Pierre or Simon
Or even a soap dish
A draft, ah

Or a cotton shorts
A pair of cleats, a onesie, ah
Ah, if I were a boy, I would know what they do
In the locker rooms

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