You were just a boy
Who held the door open
Literally and figuratively
It was just a crack
Never more of that
I wondered, "Maybe something is wrong with me?"
All my crushes have the common name
Every time I hope that they're not the same
They blink at every girl in the room
Turns out it was never special to me
How can he make me feel this worthless,
Yet I still seek for his attention?
Thought an eye contact could lead to love
But it never brought an intimate connection
Didn't I take too much therapy?
Childhood traumas should've been remedied
I can't help but still judge myself
Pursuing a one-sided fantasy
Eeee, eeeeee
Uuuu, uuuu, uuuuuu
Asked on a coffee date
Tried to take a step
Not to keep it only in my dreams
An hour and a half,
Excused himself and left
Thought it's cuz I was boring as hell
All my life I questioned my thoughts
While girls cried over some lost boys
I was introspective, I focused on myself
Unlike now, I'm losing my self worth
How can someone make me so hopeless,
Yet I still seek for their attention?
Thought an eye contact could lead to love
But all it brought's Emotional inFEKtion
Didn't I take too much therapy?
Attachment issues stay as my inner melody
I can't help but still judge myself
Pursuing a torturous ecstasy
I thought I had learnt my lesson
But I can't internalize for some reason
Still keep falling for crumbs of gestures
Shouldn't have I lived through this long ago?
It's such a high school issue
Still I feel like a teenager
Guess my heart should break some more
I still resist to peaceful