Let me tell ya bout this friend of mine
Don’t ya know I been his best man twice
Been kicked out of bars and in a few fights
Back in our younger days


He says he’s slicker than Vaseline
He drives a beat up old limousine
He’s just different if ya know what I mean
I wouldn’t have it any other way


He likes big women with bad tattoos
He’s addicted to caffeine and Mexican food
He don’t concern himself with the evening news
Watches cartoons when he gets high
He likes Texas Pete on his pineapple pizza
And Lonestar beer in his margarita
Make him your friend he’s your friend for life
Ain’t no two ways around it he’s a one of a kind
One of a kind
One of a kind

I get a drunk call when he’s raisin’ hell
I’m his first call when he goes to jail
Well he’s out of luck cause I can’t make bail
But I’ll pick him up when he gets out


He likes big women with bad tattoos
He’s addicted to caffeine and Mexican food
He don’t concern himself with the evening news
Watches cartoons when he gets high
He likes Texas Pete on his pineapple pizza
And Lonestar beer in his margarita
Make him your friend he’s your friend for life
Ain’t no two ways around it he’s a one of a kind
One of a kind


He ain’t the sharpest crayon in the shed
But if ya get in trouble brother just say when
He’s got my back no questions asked
Everybody needs a friend like that


Who likes big women with bad tattoos
He’s addicted to caffeine and Mexican food
He don’t concern himself with the evening news
He’d rather watch the Price is Right
He likes Texas Pete on his pineapple pizza
And Lonestar beer in his margaritas
Make him your friend he’s your friend for life
Ain’t no two ways around it he’s a one of a kind
One of a kind
One of a kind
One of a kind
One of a kind