I won't say it to your face
So I'll write a song about it
I won't say it to your face
So I'll write a song about it

I love you like a sister
I love you like a sister
I mean, come on
We've been friends this long
I love you like a sister
So I watch you like a hawk
Sorry, but I just can't help it

So when you talk about him
And tell me the things that he tells you
And the stuff he pulls off
The red flags are a-poppin'
The alarms are a-ringin'
I can't say I'm his number one fan

You call me to rant and it's totally fine
We've both seen each other's ugly cry
It's none of my business, but it kinda is
'Cause you talk to me about it all the time

And I understand that you love him and I respect that
But I kinda want to punch him in the balls

Wouldn't it be lovely if you'd just dump the guy ASAP?
Wouldn't it be lovely if you'd just dump the guy ASAP?

We'll throw a big party
I'll buy the balloons and the booze
There'll be a buffet of Kleenex
We'll be ready for the grand ol' cry fest
oh, ice cream, Nutella, and chips
You name it, I got it

But until that day comes
I'll listen and wait patiently
And tell myself

Wouldn't it be lovely if you'd just dump the guy ASAP?
Wouldn't it be lovely if you'd just dump the guy ASAP?
Wouldn't it be lovely if you'd just dump the guy ASAP?
Whoa-oh, wouldn't it be lovely if you'd just dump the guy ASAP?
Whoa-oh, wouldn't it be lovely if you'd just dump the guy ASAP?
Whoa-oh, wouldn't it be lovely if you'd just dump the guy ASAP?
ASAP