Verse 1 Silent night, holy night,
The Angel Gabriel’s got stage fright.
Narrators have trouble pronouncing the names,
The sheep won’t stand up and the acting is lame!
Now Mary’s flattened the mule –
Typical Christmas at school!

Verse 2 Silent night, holy night,
The parents weep at the sight!
Their digital cameras are held in the air,
And tear-sodden tissues are strewn everywhere!
My Dear, how lucky we are,
We’ve given birth to a star!”

Verse 3 Silent night, holy night,
The shepherds’ tea-towels are too tight!
The innkeeper’s costume is giving him grief,
He’s constantly scratching to get some relief!
The baby’s missing its head,
Something St Luke never said.

Verse 4 Silent night, holy night,
The three wise men are having a fight.
It’s not quite a Yuletide atmosphere,
We think Key Stage 2 should do Christmas next year.
The teacher’s losing her cool.
Peace on earth? Not at school.