There she stood next to the Porsche design
Both the car and the woman were exceptionally fine
Every car on the lot was sparkling like a dime
But my eyes could not leave the girl with the chemical shine

Explaining every feature of one hundred different cars
I was ready to buy, but she said “there’s more”
“Polyglycoat” she said, ‘for your vehicle protection”
‘It’s the future of automobile perfection”


Polyglycoat Woman, I wish you were mine,
With a sales pitch so slippery, it is one of a kind
Your upselling technique is quite refined

Polyglycoat Woman, I wish you were mine

Her sales pitch was slippery, a challenge to catch,

For Polyglycoat Woman, there is no match,
I slip and I slide, inside of her gaze
My purchasing instincts were all in a daze

Polyglycoat Woman, I wish you were mine,
An elusive dream, on which I pine.
With a coat so glossy, it blew my mind,
Polyglycoat Woman, you’re one of a kind

All the cars and the woman have such an allure
I think I need a car but I’m not quite sure
I am really confused, I’m not sure what to do
I know I need a car but I need her too

Well her heart was just too slippery
But on a positive note
I bought 200 gallons of polyglycoat
That stuff is awesome the rain just rolls off your car.