There was a young man of Jaipur,
Whose cock was shot off in the war,
So he painted the front to resemble a cunt,
And set himself up as a whore.

Chorus :
That was a jolly old rhyme, sing us another one,
Worse than the other one, sing us another one do.

There was an old girl of Silesia,
Who said, "As my cunt doesn't please ya,
You might as well come up my old slimy bum,
But be careful my tapeworm don't seize ya."
Chorus

There was a young man from Poole,
Who found a red ring round his tool,
He ran to the clinic, but the doctor, a cynic,
Said, "That's only lipstick, you fool."
Chorus

There was a young fellow named Bill,
Who took an atomic pill,
His navel corroded, his arsehole exploded,
And they found his burnt nuts in Brazil.
Chorus

There was a young man of Canute,
Who was troubled by warts on his root,
He put acid on these, and now when he pees,
He can finger his root like a flute.
Chorus

There was an old person of Gosham,
Who took out his bollocks to wash 'em,
His wife said, "Now Jack, if you don't put them back,
I'll step on your scrotum and squash 'em."
Chorus

Did you hear about young Henry Lockett ?
He was blown down the street by a rocket,
The force of the blast blew his balls up his arse,
And his pecker was found in his pocket.
Chorus

There was a young lady of Tring,
Who sat by the fire to sing,
A piece of charcoal, flew up her arsehole,
And burnt all the hair off her quim.
Chorus

There was a young man of Bombay,
Who fashioned a cunt out of clay,
But the heat of his prick, turned it into a brick,
And chafed all his foreskin away.
Chorus

A certain young fellow named Dick,
Liked to feel a girl's hand on his prick,
He taught them to fool, with his rigid old tool,
Till the cream shot out, white and thick.
Chorus

A bus-man named Abner McFuss,
Liked to suck off old men on his bus,
Then go out and sniff turds, and the arseholes of birds,
He sure was a funny old cuss.
Chorus

There was a young man named Morell,
Who played with his prick till he fell,
When to get up he started, he suddenly farted,
And fell down again from the smell.
Chorus