Clap your hands and catch a fly
Bite an apple, shut your eyes
Moisturize, your skin is dry
Goes the ringing of the bell
Tell your friends you're doing well
Call a doctor about your health

And I think you deserve an Oscar
For pretending nothing's wrong
Every day, there's something else
But you carry yourself
Like the greatest actor
Acting like the world is not
Breaking up before your eyes
You deserve a prize
Ooh

Take a supplement for sun
Try and sleep with everyone
Know you're doing nothing wrong
Kiss the season on the mouth
Go for walks and hug a clown
All the funny ones are down

And I think you deserve an Oscar
For pretending nothing's wrong
Every day, there's something else
But you carry yourself
Like the greatest actor
Acting like the world is not
Breaking up before your eyes
You deserve a prize

Watch a war under the sheets
Get a coffee down the street
Plastic bags in harmony
Everybody's incomplete
And who's the best at saving face?
Who's the toughest in the race?
Forget the Pope, you have the grace
You're my nomination

And you deserve an Oscar
For pretending nothing's wrong
Every day, you face the scenes
But you put on your jeans
Like the greatest actor
Acting like the world is not
Breaking up and slowly dying
You deserve a prize

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