I'm a toothache
I'm the saddest case
I'm often looking round for my next mistake
I'm your garden waste
I've left no trace
I'm only here for some hollow math debate

I'm a bad, bad contestant
I ain't much but baby I could impress ya
I'm a bad, bad contestant
I ain't no prince of love but give me a second

I'm a dead end, a budget hotel
I'm pretty good at feeling sorry for myself
I'm a deck chair
Your cheap underwear
A bad Christian who never goes to prayer

I'm a bad, bad contestant
I ain't much but baby I could impress ya
I'm a bad, bad contestant
I ain't no prince of love but give me a second

And if you want funny
I could be your jester honey
And if you want rock n roll I can stop playing my slow songs
If you want conversation I'll stay up with you all night

I'm a bad, bad contestant
I'd go home with the lowest prize on TV
A bad, bad contestant
You can find me finishing off the empties

(He's a bad, bad contestant)
I ain't much but baby I could impress you
(He's a bad, bad contestant)
(He's a bad, bad contestant)
They say the underdogs are always the best ones