Oh my god, a human
You've come here so soon, and
This place is such a mess!
I barely got dressed, and, oh my god
The cameras are watching! Oh my god, my hair

Alphys, stop that staring
You don't want to scare them
It's just, I can't even deal
Come on, Alphys, don't be weird!
So, I'm Alphys, hi! I'm not a bad guy
I could be a guide!
'Cause I'm the Royal Scientist
I know this place i've been watching you!
Seeing a human who
Went through with attitude
Just fills me with confidence
And not at all at your expense! And

I'll take you to the castle
It would be no hassle know what I mean?
Well, there's a little issue
See, I made an artificial killing machine
There's no need to worry, though
You have me right here, so
You'll survive his rage
Though I'll lead from the rear
I'll still be here
Even when Mettaton steals the stage
I'll lead the way like in anime
You can trust me
Mew Mew Kissy Cutie's my favorite-

Dang it, Alphys! Quit it!
Um, sorry, hang on

Here's Mettaton!