Good morning, people of humbler times!

My associates and I, we come to you from the future.

That's right, we come from the future and we have many stories to tell.

Stories of war, stories of science,
oh yes, things that will change your lives forever.

But all we're prepared to divulge today is this cryptic song:

in the year 2004, we were opening the door

to a pathway full of sunny looking times

in the year 2005, stopwatch futures took a dive

leaving us with nothing more than cents and dimes

in the years we've yet to see

we do not know, but we agree

that there will be no rest

we'll pass our test

become obsessed and free

in the year 2006, we discovered magic tricks

which we used for waging war against the odds

in the year 2007, they invited us to Heaven

and we plundered the Casino of the Gods

in the years we've yet to know

there is no rain, there's only snow

and there will be no sound

no sky, no ground

so turn around and go, and go

in the year 2008, Don LaFontaine sealed our fate

in the shady corner of Pandora's Box

in the year 2009, we turned water into wine

then to Diet Dr. Pepper on the rocks

in the years we've yet to see

we do not know, but we agree

that there will be no rest

we'll pass our test

become obsessed and free

in the year 2010, we were out the door again

but our methods of respect were misconstrued

in the year 2011, we were summoned back to Heaven

for a lecture of unearthly magnitude

in the year 2012, we were sadly forced to delve

into a leather-bound compendium or two

in the year 2013, we destroyed the new machine

thus completing what we thought we'd never do