THIS IS A SONG ABOUT SOMETHING
THAT I LOVE SO MUCH

I AIN'T TALKIN'
'BOUT THAT GRAVY ""YUCK!""
I AIN'T TALKIN' 'BOUT
THOSE SANDWICHES ""BLECH!""
I AIN'T TALKIN' 'BOUT
THAT CANDY,
**RETCH**
SORRY, CHRIS AUGUST

NOW I WILL SAY THAT NOTHING IS
SPOKEN BETTER THAN A RAP!

LET ME GIVE YOU A LITTLE SOMETHIN'
OF WHAT I'M TALKIN' ABOUT TODAY.

THIS IS WHAT I LOVE...
YEAH, UH, UH...

LISTEN BOYS AND GIRLS
I'VE GOT A STORY TO TELL
IT'S ABOUT A LITTLE SUBJECT
THAT'S THE BEST IN THE WORLD

IT'S NOT ABOUT A TRENDING
TOPIC COVERING THE NET
OH NO, IT'S NOT ABOUT A GIRL
OR THE FIRST TIME THAT WE MET

IT'S ABOUT A LOVE I HAVE
FOR THIS TASTY LITTLE THING
YOU KNOW IF I COULD MARRY TOO
I'D GIVE IT A RING

YOU KNOW, YOU ASK YOURSELF,
""MAN, WHAT IS HE TALKING ABOUT?""
LET ME TELL YOU WHAT I MEAN AND
THEN YOU'LL KNOW WITHOUT A DOUBT

I LIKE CHEESE, I LOVE CHEESE
SOMEBODY HELP ME PLEASE
THE STINKY AND THE SMELLY
MAKE ME FALL TO MY KNEES

THE CHEDDAR, THE GOUDA
THE BEST IN THE WORLD
YOU KNOW I'D RATHER
HAVE MY CHEESE
THAN ANY DIAMONDS
OR PEARLS

I LOVE CHEESE, I NEED CHEESE
I WOULD GIVE UP MY KEYS
I WOULD WALK ON MY
EYEBALLS IN 20 DEGREES

THE VEINY AND THE MOLDY
ONES THAT GIVE YOU A SMACK
YOU KNOW I NEED IT IN MY BELLY
LIKE A GRANNY NEEDS HER KNICK-KNACKS

YEAH, WE GOT THAT GOUDA,
THAT PROVOLONE, WE GOT THAT CHEDDAR,
WE GOT THAT MOZZARELLA,
WE GOT EVERYTHING. UH, YO...

Y'ALL DON'T KNOW WHAT
IM TALKIN' 'BOUT TODAY
Y'ALL DON'T KNOW WHAT
I'M.TALKIN' 'BOUT TODAY
IT'S ALL ABOUT THAT CHEESE TODAY, SON

ATTENTION, ATTENTION!
HERE'S WHAT'S COMING DOWN THE TRACK
OH YEAH, YOU MIGHT HAVE GUESSED
I'M AS SERIOUS AS A HEART-ATTACK

THE SMOKIN' LOCOMOTIVE
MOZZARELLA IN THE AIR
THE STOP, ONE DESTINATION
IT'S A PARTY OVER THERE

THE STOP, ONE DESTINATION
IT'S A PARTY OVER THERE
IN MY MOUTH THAT IS
NOW YOU KNOW MY ONE DESIRE

I'LL EAT A CHEESY SMORGISHBOARD
CONSUME IT LIKE A FIRE
I HOPE YOU UNDERSTAND MY NEEDS
YOU KNOW THIS AIN'T A GAME
THEY SAY YOU ARE WHAT YOU EAT
THEN CHEESE WOULD BE MY NAME

GOUDA IN THE MORNING
MUENSTER AT NIGHT
CHEDDAR GIVES YOU THAT FEELING
EVERYTHING IS ALRIGHT

BEFORE I GO, I'LL TELL YOU
JUST A LITTLE BIT MORE
SOMETHING CRAZY HAPPENED
AT MY LOCAL GROCERY STORE

I WALKED DOWN TO THE DAIRY
JUST TO GET MY SHARP CHEDDAR
BUT TO MY SURPRISE, NO CHEESE
BUT JUST A LETTER

IT SAID:

""WE'RE SORRY USA,
OUR FARMS HAVE BEEN ATTACKED.
OUR DAIRY CROP SUPPLIES ARE LOW
WE'LL NEVER GET IT BACK...
TO NORMAL. NOW PLEASE ACCEPT
OUR DEAR APOLOGIES. NOW HOPEFULLY
YOU CAN SETTLE FOR GOVERNMENT CHEESE.""

I SAID, ""YOU'VE GOTTA BE KIDDING ME!
THIS ISN'T FOR REAL!""
BUT SURE ENOUGH, NO SLICES HERE
NO SHREDDED, NO WHEELS.

I MUST BE NUTS
I START TO HEAR THE FIRE ALARM
SO MANY BELLS AND WHISTLES
THERE'S NO FIRE, THERE'S NO HARM

AND THEN TO MY SURPRISE
IT'S THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT
RELIEF, IT'S JUST A NIGHTMARE,
BUT WAIT, WAS IT RIGHT?

I DASH DOWN THE HALLWAY
TRIP AND FALL ON THE FLOOR,
AS I STAND TO MY FEET
I SEE REFRIGERATOR DOORS

MY HEART BEGINS TO RACE
AS I REACH TO PULL IT OPEN
I CROSS MY FINGERS AND MY TOES
I'M PRAYING, AND I'M HOPIN'

THE DOOR BEGINS TO CRACK A BIT
AND NOW I SEE THE LIGHT
I'M WISHING AND I'M PLEADING
YES, THAT EVERYTHING'S ALRIGHT

THE DOOR IS FULLY OPEN NOW
I FEEL A CHILLY BREEZE
I'M SEARCHING AND I'M SCRAMBLING
I SEE EVERYTHING BUT CHEESE

DEPRESSED, I SLAM THE DOOR
AND SAY, ""NOW WHAT COULD BE BETTER?""
SURPRISE, THE DOOR REOPENS
HALLELUJAH, THERE'S MY CHEDDAR

I NEED CHEESE, I NEED CHEESE
I'M BEGGING ON MY KNEES
I WOULD SWIM THROUGH A
GARBAGE HEAP OF VARIED DEBRIS

THE PROVOLONE, THE MUENSTER
THE BLUE, IT'S A LOCK
YOU KNOW, TO HAVE A PIECE OF CHEESE,
I WOULD SWALLOW MY SOCKS

I CRAVE CHEESE, I LOVE CHEESE
TO THE UTMOST DEGREE
I WOULD SIT THROUGH A MARATHON
OF NOTHING BUT GLEE

THE SMELLY, THE BETTER
YES, THE RIPE IS THE BEST
YOU KNOW, I NEED IT LIKE MY AIR
AND NOW, I REALLY MUST CONFESS
I LOVE CHEESE

YEAH, I LOVE CHEESE...

CHEESE PIZZA, CHEESE BALLS,
GRILLED CHEESE SANDWICHES,
CHEESE ON YOUR SALAD,
CHEESE OMELETTE, CHEESE EVERYTHING!

YOU CAN'T LIVE LIFE WITHOUT CHEESE!
THAT'S RIGHT. I LOVE CHEESE,
AW, CHEESE!