Let us sing a bit of good old Captain Kitt
Who sat one morning early in the head
A bee came flying past and it
Stung him on the ass
And this is what the gallant captain said

Asshole rules the Navy, asshole rules the sea
If you want a bit of bum
Better get it from your chum -
You'll get no ass from me

Now we'll hear some rhymes
Of Yeoman Second Grimes
Who ran the hook that hoisted up the mail
One day as he stood watch it
Caught him in the crotch
And he cried as he went flying o'er the rail
"It doesn't matter!"

Asshole rules the Navy, asshole rules the sea
If you want a bit of bum
Better get it from your chum -
You'll get no ass from me

And now to end my song I'll sing of AB Long
Whose member was not like his name at all
When asked if he would tell how
He got along so well
His answer simply was as I recall
"It's very simple…"

Asshole rules the Navy, asshole rules the sea
If you want a bit of bum
Better get it from your chum -
You'll get no ass from me-e-e-eee
If you want a bit of bum
Better get it from your chum -
You'll get no ass from me