I cannot keep this urge in, it's got to go away!
My hands are down my pants and I think it's time to play
And now, I squeeze my arm but I wish it felt this good,
can I just stop and please myself like everybody should.

It keeps my dreams from haunting me.
Is there something sticky on my sleeve?
And you act like you don't do,
forbidden pleasure done to you.

I see you lying there with a dead-man's grin,
now can't we let the fun begin.
It's easy just to grab your thing,
you get a grip and then start to swing,
to the north and to the south
try not to get it in your mouth.

Try not to get it in your mouth

You can't deny, 'cause I've seen you try
to wipe that look off your face...
I just want to play with myself!

So you succumb, time to let relief commence.
Make sure that you lock the door,
and if you want to have the ultimate experience
clear your mind of all your thoughts relax
and try it on the floor. (Like Dan with the ghost).
It doesn't take a lot to do, Vaseline and lotion too.
And your eyes roll back in your head,
now you look like your dead.

I feel the burning in my loins, make sure that you don't pull your groin...
You know it's really fun to rub, safest done while in the tub,
with some water there's no mess, just drop your load, it does the rest.
Just drop your load, it does the rest.
You can't deny, 'cause I've seen you try
to wipe that look off your face...
I just want to play with myself!!!

I wish I could play with myself!
I wish I could play with myself!
I wish I could play with myself!
I wish I could play with myself!