I make a date for golf
You can bet you life it rains
I try to give a party
And the guy upstairs complains
I guess I'll go through life
Just catchin' colds and missin' trains
Everything happens to me

I never miss a thing,
I've had measles and the mumps
And every time I play my ace
My partner always trumps
I guess I'm just a fool,
Who never looks before he jumps
Everything happens to me

At first my heart tho't,
You could break this jinx for me
That love would turn the trick
To end my despair
But now, I just can't fool,
This head that thinks for me
I've mortgaged all my castles in the air

I've telegraphed and called,
I sent air mail special, too
You answer was goodbye
And there was even postage due
I fell in love just once
And then it had to be with you
Everything happens to me