Monday morning classes
And I'm checking out her assets
From across the room
But she doesn't know that I exist
Waiting in the lunch line
Acting all serious
She's looking my way
But wait, I'm delirious
Now it's time to go home
Back to my room all alone
Where I'll cry, I'll cry all night
And I don't know what to do
With you
And I don't know what to do
With you

I've been lying in bed all night
Looking out the window
At the pale moonlight
Thinking how great
Your boyfriend's life must be
And I wish he were me

Friday night came
And she's at the football game
Cheering on her
Quarterback boyfriend
And I'm walking up
Fingers crossed
But words are stuck
When I blurt out
Can I fuck you this weekend?
She spun around
And knocked me to the ground
Like an all-star slugger
When they charge
The pitching mound
I tried to apologize,
But then I'm bummed rushed
By 50 guys
And they beat
The shit out of me
I tried to apologize
Then I'm bummed rushed
By 50 guys
And they beat
The living shit out of me
Me, me, me, me,
Woe is me, woe is me

Monday back at school
And she's headed to my locker
She says, please meet me
Meet me after soccer
Down by the tracks
In the woods
Where no one will see
If you want this to be

In the broom closet
Shut and lock it
Got a condom in my pocket
And we'll make love
Until the bell rings
Ring-a-ding-ding-dong
Ring-a-ding-ding-dong