Say man
What's that boy?
I want to tell you 'bout your girlfriend
What about my girl?
Well, you don't look strong enough to take the message
I'm strong enough
I might hurt your feelings
My feelings are already hurt by being here with you
Well, I was walking down the street with your girl the other day

And the wind was blowin' real hard
Is that right?
And the wind blew her hair into my face

You know what else happened?
What happened?
The wind blew her hair into her face
Yeah?

And we went a little further; you wanna hear the rest of it?
I might as well,
The wind blew her hair into the street!
Ok; since you told me about my girl,
I'm gonna tell you about yours.
I was walking down the street with your girl
Yes?
I took her home, for a drink, you know
Took her home?
Yeh, jus' for a drink

But that chick looked so ugly, she had to sneak up on the glass to get a drink of water!
You've got the nerve to call somebody ugly
why you so ugly the stork that brought you in the world oughta be arrested!
That's alright, my momma didn't have to put a sheet on my head so sleep could slip up on me!

Look-a here!
What's that?
Where are you from?
South America
What's that?
South America
You don't look like no South American to me
I'm still from South America
What part?
South Texas!

Where are your workin' boots at?
I've got 'em on
Those aren't no boots you got on; those broguettes!
Hey, look-a here!
What's that?

I've bin tryin' to figure out what you is
I already figured out what YOU is!
What's that?
You that thing I throw peanuts at!
Look-a here!
What's that?

You should be ashamed of yourself
Why?
Calling people ugly
I didn't call you ugly
What you say?
I said you was ruined, that's all!
You know somethin'?

What?
You look like you've bin whooped with a ugly-stick!
Hey! I ain't got nothin' to do with it, but I beat the fellah right...!