Napoleon's a pastry bismarck is a herring
Alexander's a crème de cocoa mixed with rum
And Herbie Hoover is a vacu-um
Columbus is a Circle, and a day off
Pershing is a Square, what a payoff
Julius Caesar is just a salad on a shelf
So,  little brother, get wise to yourself
Life's a bowl of cherry pit's
That's the way it is
Play it big and it throws you for a loop
Comes today we're great
Comes tomorrow we're tomato soup
Napoleon's a pastry
Get this under your brow:
What once used to be a rooster
Is just a duster now duBarry is a lipstick
Pompadour's a hairdo
Good Queen Mary just floats along
From pier to pier
Venus de Milo's just a pink braiere
Sir Gladstone is a bag - ain't it shocking
And the mighty Kaiser's just a stocking
Czar of Russia is now caviar
And Cleopatra is a black cigar
Yes my honey lamb, Swift is just a ham
Lincoln's a tunnel, Coolidge is a dam
Yes my noble lad, comes today we're fads
Comes tomorrow we're subway ads
Homer is a swa-at get this under your brow:
All these big-wheel controversials are
Just commercials now
Better get your jug of wine and loaf
Of bread before that final bow