I'm breaking my mother's heart
The longer I stand looking at you
The more I hear it splinter and crack
From 90 miles away

I'm breaking my mother's heart
The JCC of Spring Valley is shaking
And crumbling to the ground
And my grandfather's rolling, rolling in his grave

If you had a tattoo, that wouldn't matter
If you had a shaved head, that would be cool
If you came from Spain or Japan or the back of a van
Just as long as you're not from Hebrew school
I'd say, now I'm getting somewhere
I'm finally breaking through
I'd say, hey, hey, Shiksa Goddess
I've been waiting for someone like you

I've been wading through Danica Schwartz
And Erica Weiss
And the Handleman twins
I've been wading through Heather Greenblatt
Annie Mincus, Karen Pincus, and Lisa Katz
And Stacy Rosen and Ellen Kaplan and Julie Silber and Janie Stein
I've had Shabbas dinners on Friday nights
With every Shapiro in Washington Heights

But the minute I first met you
I could barely catch my breath
I've been standing for days with a phone in my hand
Like an idiot scared to death
I've been wandering through the desert
I've been beaten, I've been hit
My people have suffered for thousands of years
And I don't give a shit

If you had a pierced tongue, that wouldn't matter
If you once were in jail or you once were a man
If your mother and your brother had relations with each other
And your father was connected to the Gotti clan
I'd say, "Well, nobody's perfect"
It's tragic but it's true
I'd say, hey, hey, Shiksa Goddess
I've been waiting for someone like you

Breaking the circle
You
Taking the light
You
You are the story I should write
I have to write

If you drove an RV, that wouldn't matter
If you like to drink blood - I think it's cute
If you've got a powerful connection to your firearm collection
I say, "Draw a bead and shoot"
I'm your Hebrew slave at your service
Just tell me what to do
I'd say, hey, hey, hey, hey
I've been waiting for someone
I've been praying for someone
I think that I could be in love with someone
Like you