I'd rather not talk about it, I'd rather not talk about it, yeah
Breaking my boundary to send you a message, I'm finally at peace
I don't feel above you, I just know there's wisdom in silence
And me and you never could speak A product of trauma, blame it on history
Blame it on all of the powers that be Blame it on images, niggas in chains
Niggas in body bags, in the streets If memory serves, you always could find out
a way to just blame all your problems on me Or blame it on Bush, or blame it on Trump
Or blame it on shit that you've seen on TV And shit is so complicated, cuz inside of
my heart I'm just grateful for how you helped me
Regardless of everything else that unfolded, I hope that you see
Cuz when mama was high and my daddy was gone, I was just like a orphan
And you kept me out of the streets, and you told me to focus on school and my sports
And that ended up being my way out a college degree
I never knew that that shit was a option for niggas like me
Y'all actin ghetto and loud at commencement I know Imma miss how I felt to be free
Before I got, before I got older and saw you for what you had turned out to be
I can't really blame you, you ain't never had no one love you
So how could you give love to me, your daddy was gone too
Your mama had demons, I'm watching the cycle repeat
I had to do something different to get something different
The trauma gon' die out with me The system is fucked and I see what it do
to us Cuz I gotta lose my connection to family
If I wanna access a truer love I gotta love from a distance
If I wanna show my own children a better way I gotta lose my own path while I blaze it from scratch
I don't know a better way And somehow I made it from nothing
You proud of me now? We haven't spoke in some years
You proud of me now? Even though you all alone in that house
You proud of me now? Yeah, bet you proud of me now
I know it's hard to accept how it ended But really it's just the beginning
My son in my hands and he look to the sky He smile big and his eyes are so wide
Imma move mountains and planets and galaxies Just so he know he got power inside
And I know I'm human so I probably fail him in ways
That I'll never fully realize As long as I try
Watchin the sunset and thinkin how everything fades over time
I know you close to the end but I said goodbye years ago
The pain in your story is visceral I carried your legacy on
The you that remains is a bitter residual I hope you find peace on the other side
I won't shed a tear when it's finally time Cause I know if I show emotion
They'll ask me if I feel alright And I'd rather not talk about it
Yeah, I'd rather not talk about it
I'd rather not talk about it
I'd rather not talk about it
Yeah, yeah
All of that darkness gon' come to the light It's a matter of time you should know
I buried my pain in my memories in liquor and women and chasin my goals
I never knew anger was fear Until being angry was all that I know
And then all the memories came back His hands on her collar like that
He's shakin and shakin and cussin her out On some shit that went down in the past
I'm tryna yell stop but my voice is just crackin' I know that I'm not yet a man
His eyes look at mine, don't know what he saw But he stopped and he put down his hands
And I never could shake it, that look in his eyes
Then I was stuck in the house on some pandemic quarantine shit
The fightin I can't take no more of this shit
So I grab her and shake her and scream And I look at my son and his eyes full of horror
and shit And I never felt lower in life
Like my nightmares had come to real life And I wanted to quit
Know they better without you The lie I've been buying since I was a kid
Cuz ain't nothing worse than that feeling when you think you ain't enough
Writin these rhymes as I'm tearin up I talked to God in the valley of darkness
And told him I think you ain't here enough Can't even move, I can't even speak
And lately been thinkin of giving up He grabbed my shoulder and told me be still
Can you feel it, you finally healing up The old you is dying and that shit is painful
I know you be wanting to cry But look at you now, you stronger than ever
Just look at what happens with time And love and patience
That man in the mirror you facing If you don't love him then I promise
That happiness something you'll always be chasing And now I look back and I'm seein the path that
I paved I never can change it
They follow and hope that they get what I got But I know that it feel like the same shit
If you don't heal inside The first step is hard but I know it's worth taking
Cause the thought of you hurting so bad Just hurts me so bad I can't take it
I'd rather not talk about it I'd rather not talk about it
I'd rather not talk about it
Yeah