My cousin died 13 years ago
I still think about it sometimes
And every time i see my aunt
To her i'm extra kind
Sometimes I have trouble sleeping
Thinking bout all the things i can’t change
Sometimes I wanna murder my feelings
Maybe he won’t mess with me no more
I don’t know how it happened to be this way
But it blows my mind away
That I feel so less when I've been given so much
And is it normal to be this way
When i waste my day away
Pretending i’m orange, but i can’t anymore
My cousin died at 17
But what if his tumor was on me instead
Then all my life was all but a dream
That i had on my deathbed
And the year is 2020
Would he be raising his new family?
And i wouldn’t be a pathetic waste
At least would have found my place
I don’t know how it happened to be this way
But it blows my mind away
That I feel so less when I've been given so much
And is it normal to be this way
When i waste my day away
Pretending i’m orange, but i can’t anymore
I’m waiting for a bus i’m late
I’m looking forward to a week i’ll hate