Close your legs, open your mind
Leave those compliments well behind
Dig a little deeper into yourself
And you may find

Come over here, just sit right down
Needn't comb your hair, needn't pout or frown
I hear you've turned our young men
Into dribbling clowns

36D, so what, D, so what
Is that all that you've got
36D, so what, D, so what
Is that all that you've got

Make their day and go ahead
Remove your clothes, lie on their bed
Just a last gasp chance or an outside bet
To the easily led

And before you do just what you do
Here' one thought for you to chew
The men who run the business that you sell
They screw you too

36D, so what, D, so what
Is that all that you've got
36D, so what, D, so what
Is that all that you've got

You're just another 365 night stand
But you're so handy, you're so handy
You cheapen and you nasty every woman in this land
But you're so handy, you're so handy

Your picture's hanging pretty on the squaddies' walls
You're Steven's, Andy's, you're Ian's, you're Paul's
Your body's thought of fondly in the rugby mauls
But you want more

You name is always mentioned in the jokes he cracks
Your Coach and Horses and your Woolpacks
Your poses turn the passive into maniacs
But you want more

36D, so what, D, so what
Is that all that you've got
36D, so what, D, so what
Is that all that you've got

36D, so what, D, so what
Is that all that you've got
36D, so what, D, so what
Is that all that you've got

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