It's so freaking cold outside
It hurts to breathe it burns your eyes
The whole dang family is stuck inside
Happy holidays happy holiday nights
Counting down the hours till December 25
Good Lord I pray that we all survive

It's Christmas in the big house
Christmas in the big house
Christmas in the big house
Christmas in the big house
I don't have to tell ya what it's all about
Santa gets in, nobody gets out
Christmas in the big house

It's crowded when you're sharing
The same bathroom
Somebody's napping in my bed
cnd I don't know who
This house starting to look like cell block four
In-laws outlaws having a war
Sister's yelling at daddy
Daddy's yelling at momma
Shoulda locked the door
cnd stayed in my pajamas

It's Christmas in the big house
Christmas in the big house
Christmas in the big house
Christmas in the big house
I don't have to tell ya what it's all about
Santa gets in, nobody gets out
Christmas in the big house

This ain't Folsom prison
But everybody's got the blues
Pardon me for breathing
But it's my holiday too

We're all cramped in cooped up
Fighting over the last cup
Just get on outta my hair
cnd outta my chair

It's Christmas in the big house
Christmas in the big house
Oh Christmas in the big house
Christmas in the big house
I don't have to tell ya what it's all about
Santa gets in, nobody gets out
Christmas in the big house
Christmas in the big house
Christmas in the big house
Christmas in the big house
I don't have to tell ya what it's all about
Santa gets in, nobody gets out
Oh get me the hell outta here
I'm out, I'm out
I'm out