Mister Tchaikovsky, this dance is tough-sky
Where'd you ever find the tune to get me down so low?

D'ja ever see a tin flute dancing? (Hm?)
D'ja ever know a piccolo could dance a jig?
Here's the tune they dance to when they get a chance to
It's a kind of a rinky-dinky, ending with a whirliigig

When they play the music hot they dance a hot gavotte
As like as not

When a penny flute goes dancing he'll never ask a lady piccolo of course
He never goes for small things, what he likes, of all things, is a horse!

Don't you think they're both entrancing
What could be as graceful as a hunk o' tin
Specially in the chorus, dancing with a h-o-r-u-s
That's a pretty picture or my name is Gunga Din

Let us leave them gently, maybe instrument'ly

I say Holmes - wot was that?

Chang-fong-chee-hop-so-wing-so-lee.....

Go light yo' fiah-clacker, bang-up Chlissmus