Eddie licked chickens on the farm
When he was just sixteen
A little ferret was his friend
He used to keep his bottom clean
The moment that he touched a goat
He stroked it every day (stroked it every day)
It was a very happy farm
Where Eddie and his midgets (?) played

Eddie's got 27 pigs and a dozen cows
He became a farmer to abuse his sows
Said he screwed a different goat after every stoat (?)
And the sausage man came marching in again

Eddie finished at the sty
And then harrassed a horse
He rubbed it up and down his back
And mounted it with violent force
Took seven voles to his mum's bedroom
They nibbled off his clothes (nibbled off his clothes)
Some people say he was a weirdo
But (baaaaah) you should see him go

Eddie's got 27 pigs and a dozen cows
He became a farmer to abuse his sows
Said he screwed a different goat after every stoat (?)
And the sausage man came marching in again

He's in deep inside a beaver
You hear him moan but don't be scared
Cause like diseases, he comes and then he goes,
yeah, let's go

Three days later, Eddie's sitting in a cell
Serves him right for giving all his horses hell
So now the goats can live in peace and harmony
Safe in the knowledge there'll be no more beastiality

Eddie had 27 pigs and a dozen cows (Eddie had a farm,
but he caused it harm)
He became a farmer to abuse his sows
Said he screwed a different goat after every stoat (?)
(after every show, Eddie nailed a goat)
And the sausage men were eating sandwiches, yeah, eh-eh-eh-eh