I ran into my pastor at a gay bar
Let me tell you he looked so bizarre
In fishnets instead of a suit
I ran into my dad's girlfriend named Pam
At a strip club with fives jammed
In every place you can imagine
All these things keep happening to me
And every time it's all so confusing
I just want to be left alone
Please don't make me leave my home
Small towns don't forgive
I ran into my grandma at a sex store
I always thought she was such a bore
No wonder she's always so tired
I ran into an old one night stand
Asked if I had any big plans
I'm whipping and gagging your mom
All these things keep happening to me
And every time it's all so confusing
I just want to be left alone
Please don't make me leave my home
Small towns don't forgive