The only way is Essex
Because London’s to expensive
You may or turn your nose up
But one day you’ll confess it
All the prefabs stand politely
With the flags up high and mighty
Everybody safe inside
Watching tv day and nightly
It’s a shame
What it does to your brain
They tell me stay in your lane
On the m25 what a time to be alive

Pack your bags suburbia is calling
That London life you can’t afford no more
You stand in line at the station in the morning
Never let you go
It will never let you go

Pampas grass on your patio
Love thy neighbour don’t impose
Like needles in the cul de sac
Once your in you can’t go back
The neighbourhood is watching
Twitching shutters in the kitchen
So just act like nice and normal
Or it’s your name they’ll be whispering
It’s a shame
What it does to your brain
They tell me stay in your lane
La La lovely lanes everybodies gone insane
On the m25 what a time to be alive

Sur bur bur bur bur bia
I hear it calling me

Sur bur bur bur bur bia
I hear it calling me

Never let you go it will never let you go