All right all right, ok, ok
Where did I leave off?
Oh yeah Heisenbean running off into the dark night crying louder than
Villi Manilli after they got caught lip syncing
Let's see now Heisenbean's transformation from regular old
Heisey to diabolical mad scientist
Hmm lets fast track this thing
Through the combination of working and becoming assistant manager at the
Denny's restaurant coupled with student loans
Heisenbean secured a degree from the county college
Anything he didn't learn at college he filled in the blanks by watching reruns of
Doctor Who
Presto chango mad scientist!
Don't shoot me I'm just the messenger
So, keeping an eye out for an affordable rental
He secured a space that was formally an unpainted furniture store
From his newly acquired laboratory
This mad scientist would carry out and extract his revenge
His plan was quite simple
To create mindless slaves to obey his every command
Oh Brothers, the best laid plans of mice and men
So, upon kidnapping childhood best friend Dick
Doubley who by the way already has a serious problem bending his elbow
Dean Curtis his former asshole manager at Denny's
And Myles a local neighborhood green tea leaf he proceeded with his plan
He placed each of them in a glass cylinder with wires and electrodes
Shooting out from every conceivable direction
There was flashing lights and science shit happening to and fro hither and yon
Heisenbean noticed a vapor leaking from the cylinders
And a great rumbling shaking the glass beakers and such
Things went terribly wrong.
What do you expect with a degree from a county college?
Heisenbean inadvertently created a dichotomy of good and evil
The Distressers were born
Yes, brothers and sisters, the Distressers were born