Without that '57 Cadillac
And that mini mansion in a cul-de-sac
That 15-gallon Stetson hat
That you wear all the time

And those real expensive rounds of golf
And this diamond you're still payin' off
Just know as soon as you get caught
They'll all be good as mine

And I called that lawyer up in Dallas
The one who's livin' in that palace
So I know he's good at winnin'
If you think there's somethin' that you're missin'

And you start steppin' out
Only one thing can console me
If you're gonna leave me in San Antone
Remember the alimony

If you like livin' at your mama's house
And drinkin' Milwaukee's best on a hand-me-down couch
Then you're gonna love how this all works out
'Cause it all works out for me

What's mine is mine, and what's yours is mine
So go on, baby, have a real good time
I'll be countin' the dollars, you'll be rollin' the dimes
Freedom don't come free

'Cause I called that lawyer up in Dallas
The one who's livin' in that palace
So I know he's good at winnin'
If you think there's somethin' that you're missin'

And you start steppin' out
Only one thing can console me
If you're gonna leave me in San Antone
Remember the alimony

For richer, not for poorer
Well, consider this your spoiler
If you think you can't afford her
Well, you can't afford me too

So if you start steppin' out
Only one thing can console me
If you're gonna leave me in San Antone
Well, remember the alimony

You ain't gonna have a row to hoe
Go on and do your dog and pony show
If you're gonna be a dumbass
Honey, I hope you remember the alimony