I went to Hardee's and I ate lunch with Grimace
My dog is going to kill the president on Christmas
The fries I had at Hardee's were super delicious
My dog might be evil so I'm gonna be superstitious

I was laying on my couch after drinking lots of beer
I looked outside my window and I see a ton of deer
The only thing in my brain is a bunch of rusty gears
To shave a sheep in Minecraft, you gotta use the shears

I'm making lots of sound, cuz I'm Fred Flintstone
Me and my fish got a picture with Post Malone
My dog's name is Kevin, like the guy from Home Alone
Nothing while listening to Touch-Tone Telephone

Zoo Wee Mama
Barack Obama
Bin Laden of Osama
Fifteen different llamas
Bird is the Word
Revenge of the Nerds
Amber Heard
Shrek the Third
Neil's New Way Out
Bowl of Sauerkraut
TBS's Wipeout
Neighborhood Blackout
Tally Hall concert
Pattinson, Robert
Documents doctored
Murderers in Hartford
Newgrounds animations
Illness vaccinations
Joe Hawley's allegations
President assassination
Wait wait wait- PRESIDENT ASSASSINATION
I DIDNT WRITE THAT

I love my dog, and I don't wanna kill him
Maybe I can keep him, just by definition
Keep him in my house throughout my generation
For all that I know, we can give him an education

I'll send the president an important warning message
Just before Kevin can cause actual damage
"Dear President, this may sound like a hunch
But my dog might kill you and make your bones crunch
Please watch out cuz I don't want you expunged
Cuz thinking of that paints a really gruesome image"

Now that my letter is done, I'll just send it over to the president
Alright, the deed is done! Here's hoping he watches out
Yeah