Well, we went out on a double date
Me and Edith, you and Kate
Before we got past their front gate
There you were making eyes at Edith
While you were making time with Kate
You can't have your Kate and Edith too
You rascal you doodle-de-I-do.

Then we went to a drive in a show
You were kissing on Kate, she wouldn't let you go
I looked at Edith started feeling bold
I found your big hairy hand holding on
To the hand I was trying to hold
You can't have your Kate and Edith too
You rascal you doodle-de-I-do.

Edith asked me if I would
Get her some popcorn, I said I would
When I got back dad-blame if you
Hadn't crawled into the backseat with
Kate and Edith was back there too.
You can't have your Kate and Edith too
You rascal you doodle-de-I-do.

Years have passed since that first date
I married Edith, you married Kate
Now every night when I come home
Your cares in the driveway Kate's in the car
And you and Edith are in the house alone.
You can't have your Kate and Edith too
You rascal you doodle-de-I-do...