Everybody loves a nut
The whole world loves a weirdo
Brains are in a rut
But everybody loves a nut

There was a hermit named Fred
Who kept the dead horse in his cave
And everyone said to Fred
"Fred, how come you keep a dead horse
In your cave?", and he said, "Well"

(Everybody loves a nut)
(The whole world loves a weirdo)
Brains are in a rut but everybody loves a nut
A Columbia man named Frank
Had a tiger named Hank

He tried to put Hank in his tank
Guess what happened to ol' Frank
When they picked up the teets there and eyeballs
And erected a tombstone that read

(Everybody loves a nut)
Another Columbia fella told queen Isabella
I don't think the world is flat
And now what do you think about that

And she said
"You don't", and he said, "No mam"
And she said
"He'd get out of my queendom"
And he said, "Yes mam"

(Everybody loves a nut)
Everybody loves a nut